I have a friend, Serenity, who started her grad program a while ago. I keel over with laughter when she relays stories to me. With her excellent sense of humour and ability to sum up even the most awkward situations in a sharp-witted little package, I just had to ask her to send me a couple of stories, in her own words, I could share with you!
Take it away girl…
I’ll call him Reg to protect the innocent…and protect myself from litigation. Hahahaha!!
Reg has deteriorating dementia. This day Reg couldn’t follow instructions, couldn’t speak and couldn’t safely get about. After giving him a damn good scrub in the tub, I set him up for the day. But he was air plucking.
A couple of days previously someone had unearthed a fiddle rug, or activity blanket, call it what you will. You know, things within zips sewn on, Velcro, textures, bits and bobs. Lovely things made by volunteer ladies. So I pop it on Reg’s lap just before smoko and trot off. The NUM (Nurse Unit Manager) comes by to say hi and let’s go get a cuppa. We decided to check that Reg was managing his cup of tea and muffin. Well bugger me! Old Reg is drooling fit to drown! We race over and can hear his choppers clanging on something hard.
Something similar to this!
Now, the muffins are sometimes a bit tough here, but this was obviously not muffin! I grab gloves and try to poke my fingers in his mouth (brave I hear you say) and catch a glimpse of a large green object. “Reg. What have you got in your mouth? Spit it out mate”. Round and round and side to side goes the object, drool pouring over my hands and down his shirt. The NUM is clearly on her game and races off to find forceps. I am getting frantic…and louder. “SPIT! IT! OUT! REG!!!” Another nurse hears my squealing and bravely comes to my aid. Between us we manage to get a quick snatch and grab at a 2 litre milk container cap! The NUM races back in and we all high five and cheer. Except Reg. Who seems pretty disappointed we pinched his ‘biscuit’.
Ever tried to write up a CIMS (workplace incident form) for something like that? I am so glad Reg didn’t choke. But of course, the bottle top did have two little holes where it had been sewn onto the blankie. So he may have just wound up with a whistle instead of a voice if he HAD got it down. Crikey. If he’d swallowed one of the bells we all could have sung Christmas carols. Anyway. Two weeks of being a nurse and I could have found myself in coroner’s court! New rule here. NEVER use fiddle rugs. Always check on patients eating. Who would have thought?
Hilarity amidst the drama!
ED patient in severe pain about to be transferred by ambulance. Boss nurse draws up the Fentanyl, tags it, takes that and 2 x normal saline flushes to the moaning guy. I draw up the Ondansetron (or dancing thongs as I like to call it – it helps stop nausea and vomiting). Boss nurse takes her time with the slow push (slowly injecting the drug into the vein) and I walk over to take over and push the Ondansetron. Just in time to hear her say “That’ll help with the pain” Big smile. Well, I doubt it, as she’s just done the slowest 2.5mL saline flush I’ve ever seen! I nudge her and point to the tagged syringe. Our guy is clearly not feeling better and can’t understand why we’re laughing fit to bust!”
If any of you have any stories you’d like to share on this blog, anonymous or recognised, please feel free to email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
The more embarrassing, disgusting or mortifying the better!!
Cya! – Rachel